3:00 am madness
by Darke Eco Freak
Summary: Ever had insomnia? Well what about if you had insomnia and all the little voices in your head came out to play?
1. Chapter 1

DEF: Oh jakkie boy, the things I do to you.

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><p>Thunder rumbled loudly overhead, I turned restlessly wishing I could fall asleep somehow but there was a wild energy inside me that refused to be turned off. I threw my legs over the side of the bed, resting my hands on my knees and counted to ten, it helped in a way. It gave me a chance to clear my mind and think, if I didn't do it once in a while, I would go insane.<p>

I glanced at the illuminated numbers on my alarm clock, three o'clock in the friggen morning and I was still up, the demonic hour. I snorted, how damn ironic, the precise time for all the foul creatures that inhabited this hell hole to be free was the time I couldn't sleep. How fucking ironic!

_'But you're one of them, aren't you, you freak!'_

I growled burying my face in my hands, I thought these obscure visions had stopped, why couldn't I have peace even after the bastard's death? I could almost feel the cold steel biting into my wrists as I was restrained once more, just another day of pain. The hard metal of the chair and the laughter of the eco as I was prepared for more torture, I could never forget it.

_'What's the matter Jak? Can't seem to forget your rightful place as my lab rat?'_

"Get out of my head," I hissed digging my fingers deep into my scalp as though I could tear out the memories by the roots somehow.

"You're dead, I saw you die," I whispered in something resembling a prayer, that was strange, I had never prayed, not even in Sand Over. Sure I believed in the Precursors but I didn't worship them, after all they'd left us in this unfinished world full of monsters and death. If they didn't care enough to complete our world, then what was the point of worshipping their statues?

_'I told you, I **am** this City, you **can't **get rid of me. Not unless you tear it down brick by brick'_

"I intend to you psychotic bastard," I snarled shaking my head, cold so cold, fingers numb, throat raw from screaming. I sucked in a deep breath, the torture chamber was too close, the thunder was dying, being replaced by the laughing, that horrible mocking laughter. Needles piercing my skin, the slow fiery agony filling my veins, so much pain leaving me no where to run no where to hide, not even my own mind was safe. Hours upon hours of pain, maybe days, there was no way of measuring time in that place of constant death and darkness.

When I wasn't strapped down to the torture chair I was in my cell, in the pitch black it was hard to even remember there used to be a time before all this pain. It was hard to remember what the sun looked like, the pleasant warmth across my skin, the touch of the ocean waves against my feet. My friends, what were their names, Dexter, Kara? Sometimes I couldn't even remember what I looked like, did I have blue eyes or green? Was I blond or red head? How was I to know these weren't all a sham created by my diseased mind as a way of escaping the hell of my real life?

Everything I had once been faded away, my innocence, my hope, until I was nothing more than a husk of myself. That was when the voices came, like a thief in the night, silent and deadly they promised a release from the pain, a place where I could hide and no one would ever find me, a way to make my tormenters feel my pain. In a way, that was worse than being experimented on in the hope of achieving success, because these voices did not belong to anyone else, they were a part of me. I suppose that was when I truly lost that thin sliver of my humanity, the very first time I gave in to the darkness out of desperation. I could remember only glimpses of what happened that first time but it was enough that I knew the beast I had become.

Pain, pain was always first and foremost then slowly scenes of blood the feel of the heated crimson covering my arms in a warm blanket. I knew it was wrong to enjoy the taste when it drenched me from head to toe but knowing it was wrong did nothing to mar the fact that I liked it. In the basest way possible, I had shared my pain with those who caused it, I had my revenge and it felt oh so good.

_'Do you need anymore proof or have you finally realized what a monster you are?'_

"Shut the fuck up, I'm like this because of **_you_**," I reminded him in a low voice, lightening cracked illuminating the shadowed corners brilliantly. My head snapped to the one closest to the door, I could have sworn there was a flash of red painted metal, uncannily similar to that of the former Krimson Guard. I rubbed my temples wearily, I was exhausted, I hadn't slept in almost two days now, I was hallucinating and worse I was arguing with those hallucinations.

Another flash of light revealed his armored form, the face I hated so much, the colour I had come to despise but couldn't seem to stop myself from painting the City in it. I felt as though I could almost reach out and touch him, after all, how was I to know what was real anymore? Was this all a delusion created by my fevered psyche or was it all real?

_'You think this is all in your head. Well maybe it is, or maybe it isn't, how could you possibly know?'_

"Focus God damn it, he isn't really there, he's dead and rotting outside the City," I rasped ignoring the dull ache as my fingers dug into my temples painfully. Truth be told the pain helped, it gave me something that connected me to the here and now, the sharp pain kept the memories at bay.

**_'Maybe those little tricks can work on him but not me, or did you forget? I love pain, I live for it!'_**

"No, you're just another part of me, not real," I breathed, squeezing my eyes shut, but still I could feel the shift of the air as a clawed hand rested on my shoulder. My breath hitched in my throat, I kept my eyes closed, if I couldn't see him then he wasn't real, yup, not real if you couldn't see it.

**_'What's wrong, do I scare you? I thought we were one, how could you be afraid of yourself?'_**

I shook my head, he wasn't real but why could I still feel the grip on my shoulder tighten, the soft panting in my ear? Why could I smell the scent of death, a revolting odor, it was a mixture of decay and old blood, yes blood had a smell, no one ever had it around them long enough to experience. What did that say about the man I had become? I had become a true monster if I was in contact with blood enough to learn its smell.

**_'I'm just as much alive as you, you gave me life once more Jak, do you remember the last time we met? You were so much more innocent then but that was easily fixed, back to the time when you had no voice of your own.'_**

I tired to keep the images back but like all those times before I wasn't in control, he was and there was nothing I could do to stop him. I could almost hear the soft whisper of eco as the silo doors slid open; see the broken Precursor robot and the two twisted Sages it held. I remembered how appalled I was that they had become so infected by the darkness, how could someone become so corrupt so quickly? They spoke of power, of creating the world in their image but that was just plain insanity, no one could control the eco once it was released. For years afterward I would hear the screams as they were absorbed into the eco, Samos thought they had lived but I knew better, they were dead as soon as they hit. One secret I had always kept to myself was that I could hear eco, it truly was a living being, it talked but no one ever listened long enough to understand and those who did were driven mad.

**_'They were pathetic hosts, so weak but are you any better? You still fear that half-assed Baron, those grand council bastards plan to throw you out and yet you do nothing!'_**

My temples ached as horns grew into a grotesque crown, and I tore at them helplessly in an attempt to stop him. What would those who feared me say if they could see me now at my most venerable? Would they laugh or would they run still as the monster appeared before their eyes? I threw myself against the wall in pain as claws shot out in a spray of blood, already the eco was repairing the damage left by the harder than diamond daggers. I gasped in pain as they retracted only to shoot out once more, he loved to torture me this way, he was the ultimate predator and I was his unfortunate prey.

**_'If only you stopped fighting me, it wouldn't hurt as much buuutttt since you insist on being stubborn.'_**

I saw my skin bleach out to a sickly blue pallor and I knew the same had happened to my hair, the pain was fast approaching an unbearable level and I was starting to see black spots. I always wondered why he was unaffected by the pain but the answer was easy, he wasn't, he just enjoyed it, the sick bastard. But was I really any better than him? I enjoyed the pain of others, hell sometimes I enjoyed my own pain!

**_'Why don't you take a nice nap? I promise the City will still be standing when you come back.'_**

The city, did I even care about it anymore? They had done this to me, they were the ones who were too weak to fight their own battles and relied upon others to do it for them, to die for them. Shouldn't they bear this pain as well, they had neglected it for the last two years, turned a blind eye as innocents were subjected to this. Well, now it was time for them to face the result of that particular ignorance, it didn't matter that only a few had done this, they would all pay for those few. I suppose it was unfair but wasn't life unfair?

**_'It'll make you feel so much better, let them experience what you have for the last two years. Why should you have to bear this burden on your own?'_**

He was right in his own demented way, I didn't have to be a victim of this anymore, I could use it to my advantage. Call it the insanity or pain, whatever you wanted to name it, talking but to me this actually made sense. I had suffered too long on my own, it was time I shared my curse with them, showed them how much of a monster I had become.


	2. THe morning after is always worst

**DEF: Since my reviewers wanted some more to this story, I decided why not? So all future chapters will be set between Jak II and Jak 3.**

_Vita: We don't own Jak and Daxter, but we do own all the angsty goodness found in this fic!_

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><p>I could feel the warm sunlight falling across my face but I didn't open my eyes, not yet, I wanted to enjoy this brief moment of peace before everything went to hell. The night before was a complete blur, I could only remember short bursts of what had happened and even that was horrifying.<p>

Blood was first, always blood, the rusty crimson staining my hands scarlet, turning the City into a lunatic's version of play land. I could feel the bile rising in my throat and I cracked my head on a piece of wall as I sat up to empty the contents of my stomach on the already filthy sidewalk.

Everything felt sore; my throat felt as though I'd swallowed rusty nails and threw up them back up, I couldn't see my hand in front my face, a typical day for me. Of course I could recall every detail of the argument with Praxis and my darker half, I say darker because I myself wasn't pure, I was like the City in that I was covered in the blood of the innocent. Sometimes I could even hear their screams in my sleep but it always turned out to be me screaming, whether out of fear or pain I never knew.

**_'Well as promised, the City stands, if only you had the guts to burn it to the ground with all the pathetic fools that live here.'_**

"Just shut up, you had your fun, now leave me alone for a few hours," I growled getting to my feet; I forced myself to remain upright despite the wave of nausea that threatened to bring me crashing down. He didn't respond and considering everything I'd been through, I was grateful for it, the last thing I needed was his rasping voice in my head while I tried to get my bearings. Already the nausea was passing and I could make out the familiar streets, I knew this City like the back of my hand now, too long of having to crawl around in its gutters like a hunted rat.

The street I was on was deserted, in the Slums that was amazing, usually you could find at least one person crouched by the feeble fires or making their way home after a long night. Of all the places in this City, the Slums was the one I preferred above all others, it was a place I could hide. In the months it had taken to bring down the Baron, this was the easiest place to disappear, while the guards searched the streets, I could easily break into a house and stay there until it was safe. In a way, it was my home, Sand Over was long dead, overrun by monsters, and even if I could get back to the time when it was whole once more, it could never again truly be _my_ home.

Sand Over was a place of magic, of innocence, the home of so many cherished childhood memories, it was whole and safe, it shouldn't have had to face the Metal Heads on its own, it seemed as though everywhere I went I fucked up beyond recognition. As it turned out, I hadn't even belonged there in the first place; I had come from this hellish city of sorrow, pain and death. In retrospect, this was my fault to, if I had stayed here as a child, I wouldn't have been able to open the gate for the Metal Heads to destroy the past and this world would be free of them. So much was my fault and I'd been ignorant of it my whole life, why had my mind blanked those first years? Was it some sort of self preservation? I wouldn't be able to handle the truth so I just forgot about it all it save my sanity, just look how great that turned out.

_'Oh well done eco freak, now why don't you do us all a favor and go jump in a lake of Dark Eco, save us from the monster you carry.'_

I ignored the red headed KG Commander as I made my way out of the alley, I needed to get out of here as quickly as possible, I didn't need to check to know a heap of bodies lay behind me. I could smell death on my hands; a fresh kill and the new guard would be here just as soon as someone happened upon the corpses, in a place like this that would be within minutes. The Commander kept pace with me as I forced myself not to lash out at him, it would only egg him on and that was the last thing I needed this early in the morning. The after effects of the change were closest to being hung over, the only difference was with a hang over you got drunk of your own violation, with me? The transformations came whenever my other side wanted some fun, or even just when he was bored, ain't life wonderful?

_'But wait, that wouldn't kill you would it? Hmm, maybe we should just lock you up again and throw away the key!'_

"Why wouldn't you shut the hell up Errol? You're DEAD, so leave me the fuck alone!" I snarled taking the time to swipe at the man I so hated but I couldn't hurt the dead, if only I could.

_'Aw, poor dark eco freak, am I bothering you? Do you want me to go away?'_

I didn't even dignify that insult with an answer, all I cared about was getting home to my apartment in the Port, I didn't want to see anyone, maybe I could sleep for a few hours too. Yes, an actual bed to lie on, not a pile of filthy rags, not the cold ground or even a bar chair, a real bed. A shower was in order as well, my hands were caked with the rust of old blood and God only knew what else I was covered in, a vivid supply of images appeared almost making me vomit again. I clenched my jaw to the point of pain as the deep growling laughter echoed through my skull.

_'Animals shouldn't be allowed in the house you know.'_

I continued along the street, all these delusions, was I truly mad then? Should I be locked up in a padded cell somewhere or maybe I should be put down like a rabid dog, I knew which most people would choose. What would my so called friends say if they knew about my late night schizophrenia, my chats with the dead and my other side? Well, Daxter's reaction would be simple, he wouldn't give a shit, he would just joke around until he felt better about it. Keira wasn't hard either, she would be thoroughly repulsed; she wouldn't want to be in the same room as me anymore, not that she stayed in the same room with me now anyways. Samos, had he ever cared for me, would he now or would he just brush it off like he did so many other things in life? Torn, well he wouldn't give a damn so long as I was able to fight without killing myself or too many of his men.

The early sunlight fell across the dusty street, already I could see a trail of blood leading to where I'd just come from, would anyone really think I was innocent any more? I was this close to being kicked out of the City, maybe I should just leave with Sig, become a Wastelander.

**_'Is that how you're going to deal with this problem? You're just going to run away?'_**

"Do you have a better solution? It's your fault in the first place, if you could just control yourself, I wouldn't be in this mess!" I reminded him ducking in doorway as a trio of Guards marched past.

_'See, you can't even manage to keep that monster in check, what good are you to anyone?'_

**_'Wait, so now you're arguing with this prick again? You really are one pitiful fool ain't yuh.'_**

"Shut up! Both of you just leave me alone!" I yelled slamming my fist into the concrete doorframe, I could feel the bones fracture but even as the pain registered with my brain, eco was healing it. I slumped to the ground; everything was so confusing, was I mad or were these things real? I couldn't- I didn't…understand.

_'You will never get rid of us, we are a part of who you are, a part of you very mind.'_

"That's not true. You are dead Errol, dead," I hissed, I could recall very clearly his zoomer crashing into the barrels of eco; no one save a channeler could have survived it. Even if he was a channeler and Praxis had saved him, where was he now? Injuries like that would take a long time to heal, not to mention constant care and a doctor skilled in eco properties.

**_'And what of me Jak? Am I dead, a mere figment of your imagination? Sadly no, I am a part of you. The darker half, the half that harbors all your hate and resentment for these people and this City, I'm here to stay. You can't separate yourself from me Jak, your soul is stained and I am that stain.'_**

"Maybe that's true, maybe it's not, all I ask is that you leave me in peace for a few measly hours," I whispered struggling to my feet once more, already the City's alarms were cutting through the morning's silence. Neither of the voices in my head responded to my question as I hobbled along the streets until I finally came to a familiar apartment.

**_'You can have this day, but know this; you won't always be this lucky tamer.'_**

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><p><strong>DEF:Well, this was actually part of a dream I had a while ago, good to see it put to use.<strong>

_Vita: Reviews are loved by all and help promote more chapters, also, who should Jak see next?_**_  
><em>**


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